Things DON"Ts on the holiday

The slightly annoying  holiday habit.Easy..this thing just a gather as the information tips-fit for group vacation:

1.You pack extra-ultra unnessary things - no neec 5 pair of heels.Sexy lingerie is.

2.You messier than normal -creating royal mess,can make your roomate headache

3.You get chatting by the pool-which isn;t crime.But agreeing to meet for dinner is.See how we stare at our forks and talk about footy while you cackle about local market price?

4.You think games are silly-You're actually happy to watch men who have biceps and a talent for volleyball.So how come wathing us playing beach footy isn't turn-on?

5.You moan when we use our ipad-Not that you want to talk,you're just paranoid folks will think we've got to 'issue'.So we have to sit there in silent while you read a book.Ace!!

6.You try 'style' us for beach- 'you can;t go into that',you splutter.pointing at the neon shorts we bought in Phuket last year.Facts,we'll never look like Becks even in sarong.

7.You shop - At the airport.You haven't got into the plane yet you still have a look at perfume and shoes.Obviously we're not allowed in digital Mall-gADget shopping's meet with a burst of 'oh for god sake,grow up'

8.You nag more than our mum-Its doesn;t matte that we manage to hold down a jobs and pay our bills,we still get'did you remember your passport?' or 'have you brought you sun lotion?' Do you have enough underwear?'Yes dear.

9.You actually like temples-its  the lads,we'd never visit anywhere that didn't serve beer.but you love a tourist attraction.Especially if its 10 miles up a hill.Bored?Us?no,really.

10.You'd rather tan than have sex?(company with bf)-Just because the sun is shining and there's space down by the pool doesn't mean you can't spend an afternoon in think we flew to Langkawi to get burnt and potter around in gift shop? You do.

11.You won't leave the  shallow end - you wanted a hotel with a the sea.then it;s a week of  -'don't spalsh,you'll get my hair wet.I can't see my's too deep,lets get out.'-It's cheaper inland,you know.

12.You micro-photograph everything - You obsessively document every single facet of the holiday so you can update your collection of social networking and facebook.We seriously doubt anyone care what the hotels showet tiles look like.

13.You beach read-come on!we both know you're never going to finish that novella you bring along for 'beach reading'

14.You buy ugly souvenirs,Why?? - We doubt anyone with taste is going to appreciate an oversize and out of shape t-shirt that reads-:(insert holiday vacation here.)

15.You do night market instead of nightlife - Just so you know checking out the local party scene is also the part of a holiday experience.

16.You're suddenly an early riser- We can understand you want to maximize your time on this trip making every minute count.But that doesn't mean rising at the crack of dawn in time to catch sunrise or a 6a.m tour bus .We need our beauty sleep too!

17.You over-plan ( think  Miranda in Sex and the City 1)-Having a plan is great but it's not a reason to go haywire just cos we're a nanosecond off schedule.Ever heard of going with a flow?

18.You diet.On the trip-You dieted to go holiday and then diet throughtout the holiday!It doesn;t help that you make us go on on this diet too.We're not afraid of carbs especially if they come in form of beer.

19.You don't let us keep the hotel toiletries-the hotel toiletries ARE for us.We're not stealing.If you don't want them,why can't we have them?It saves us toiletry shopping plus we're not fussy,so what if the hair conditioner doesn't have pro-vitamin whatever.

20.You don't drink during the day-The phrase 'you have one if you want' should be illegal.That,and 'don't you think you should stop now,we're going out later'.But it's fine for you to hit the cocktail and pass out by 5pm if you get chatting to a 'nice couple' by the pool,which is another thing..'

And here is 5 things men love :

`You get all frisky in the heat.Even in the sea.Ahh,bliss
`you can go for days without mentioning crap TV soaps.
`You are 90% of the time in your bikini.In facts,you don't pack your bra.
`We safely admire beautiful sunsets without having our sexuality questioned.
`We get to massage in your suncream.


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